Always

You are the best of me

and the worst of then.

Music to quicken heart’s pace

while words pierce through the chest

to times of ridicule

long since buried.

Lips curl up to high-pitched voices,

mockery of the worst of humanity

and the ironic stupidity consuming the world

we are forced to occupy.

Yet my brow hardens

when old friends are near,

my tongue gets tight to hold back

times when you should have been my enemy,

the one with my fist in your face.

 

Differences are left to the wind,

cut short by short responses

and diverted eyes.

And it’s okay to find our opposing poles;

it’s only a reminder of the silent creed between us,

spoken once so long ago.

 

Can I ask you something?

No matter how this turns out,

let’s always stay friends.

 

 

I had an interesting epiphany today while talking to my boyfriend. You see one of my roommates is an old high school friend, and my boyfriend is constantly making jokes at his expense. It wouldn’t be too big of a deal if I didn’t know what it’s like to be on the other end of insulting jokes like that and not find any of them funny. My boyfriend had quite a ‘popular guy’ kind of past before we met, and I didn’t find out until quite a few years into our relationship that he put a lot of that part of him behind for me, and drew me into a little bit of that lifestyle at the same time. I realize that he’s a lot like the guys I despised in high school; the guys who would just drill a certain person just because it was a convenient target. It’s not as bad as it sounds, really, but I had to call him out on it tonight because I really don’t think he sees just how much my roommate dislikes it all. And he certainly doesn’t realize how, when he does crack fun at my roommate, that it takes me back to the bad side of high school, the times of nicknames and ridicule just because I would keep my mouth shut, or try to retaliate. Either way, it never stopped, and my boyfriend hasn’t stopped yet. I just needed an outlet to share that commotion, and this poem is the result.

As always, it’s just straight out of my head to the screen, so rip apart as you like. I love the critique, any and all of it.

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