OKAY! So the religious babble is being put to the side, and it’s back to discussing writing!
I’ve been focusing on the Elaseim novel lately, although life has been keeping me from putting too much time into it. I have quite a few chapters partially finished, but no where near edited or refined to my liking. The biggest thing is this: I’m changing Rana’s story a bit. It figures that this change is going to force me to re-write a couple of the origin chapters, but a lot of that will likely just be name changes, with the plot staying put (for now).
So right now Rana is one of the original four Elaseim, alongside Salocar, Veroa, and Kido. She survives with Kido against Inan after he slaughters the rest of the Elaseim. Kido rallies an army from the free creatures of Adalan Eu, and together with Rana they go to war. Rana sees Kido killed by Inan and falls in the battle, overwhelmed by his death. She is found by the Equepar and taken away from the Inan’s reach. When Taren finds her, she is still held in that overwhelmed, dazed state by the Equepar, who are trying to brainwash her into fighting and purposefully losing to Inan, so as to reunite the souls of the Elaseim and re-create the Elaseim part of the Sedar. The Equepar believe the return of the Sedar is the only way to defeat Inan and bring the original balance that Salocar and Veroa held over Adalan Eu back to the world. Taren manages to convince Rana otherwise and she goes with him to bring an army against Inan once again.
My problem is, Rana’s character is far stronger than this. As a full-grown Elaseim, she should know better than to fall into a depressive state, especially for so long. So here’s the new plan. Rana and Kido are not the oldest Elaseim, but the youngest. Kido is Rana’s older brother, and she is not even a ‘teenager’ in Elaseim development when Inan comes and kills the Elaseim. She is left at the base camp of Kido’s army while he leads them to fight. She, not understanding all of this, goes after him, wanting to go back home to Ea Mornen, where the battle takes place. On the battlefield she sees Kido fall and is knocked out while mourning over him. The Equepar find her and take her in. They weave an elaborate lie about Inan and convince Rana to trust them. She does not realize their true intentions, which are not completely clear until later in the novel.
I want her to have more of a reason to trust the Equepar. It also gives a greater impact when her instincts as an Elaseim spur her to leave them behind and go with Taren. I’d like to know if people agree with this character development change or not. At least give me a little dialogue to get some back and forth going on it. I can give more insight later. I’m actually in a bit of a rush right now. Comment below please! Cheers!