Okay, so as I said on my last post, I’m re-writing all of my notes and chapter work into new, labeled notebooks. I’m still working on Elaseim notes right now, which is much more daunting than I ever expected. Good grief did I have a lot of ideas for this story. It is actually scaring me some of the ideas that I had. They are so pitiful! I mean, for a long while I didn’t even have a creation story. Here is how it was going to work out. Don’t laugh at me. 😛
The Wakening/ Pritus
- all the creatures of Adalan Eu were asleep, woke up with only the memory of their names, names of those they were close to
- Rana wakes up next to Salocar
- when she meets Kido, instantly knows he is her brother
- Rana and Salocar- possibly lovers before Wakening, but only very close friends after
War Before the Wakening
- caused by de-evolution back to human nature/imbalance among human form creatures
- human imbalance overwhelms some of animal’s nature
- weaker, simpler creatures succumb
- battles between human forms and animal forms begin
- Elaseim avoid battles
- Salocar and Rana watch final battle between all creatures
- wolf/Elaseim instinct takes over Salocar, releases ‘power’ that puts everyone to sleep
- he is overpowered by his own ability and falls asleep as well, everyone asleep and forgets
I mean, seriously, how sad is that? No explanation of why Salocar has this random power, no explanation of why the hell it puts everyone to sleep, let alone why they forget. This was supposed to be the beginning of the book and already I want to put my notes down and burn them! Die, stupid plot with holes like cheese, DIE!
Okay, okay. I’m being mean to my younger self. But there is a point to it all. How does one know when their storyline is full of holes? When do you stick to your guns and say, “This is a good story, no more changes.” When do you know where explanations are not needed? When is the mystery of a creature’s power acceptable and when is it just dumb? I know this old plot idea is bunk, I know it’s sad and full of holes and useless. But how do I know the one I’m sticking to right now isn’t the same? Have I fallen in love with a stupid plot and just don’t want to admit it?
And don’t get me wrong. I want to put this out there. I do NOT write for my audience. I write to tell my story, and those who like my style, my story, they become my audience. If it a small audience, that is okay. But I will not change my story to get more readers. I want to improve my story so that it is the best it can be. I want to be happy with what I have created. When I make a big change, it is because I have found what I consider a big hole. As an example, I’m considering whether to keep Rana’s current plot position or make her the youngest Elaseim instead, more vulnerable mentally and more malleable. But I haven’t decided if it would be more impacting for her with all her experience to crash mentally from the loss she suffers. There are little holes in each of these possibilities, but that is the fun of it. Figuring out which is the lesser of two holes entertains me, and makes my writing worth while. And all the steps that get me there are worth it in the end, no matter how sad and pathetic when I look back.
And so I thank my sad little writing self of the past. I thank all the stupid plot options I’ve given myself to get to the great story I will cherish, even if I’m the only one. Thank you, bad writing, for giving me the ability to re-write and re-write until I get it right.